There are many reasons we don’t achieve a goal in nutrition. One of the main reasons: we don’t actually want it—or at least we don’t want it in the way we think we do.

In other words, we invest time, money and hope in a goal we don’t genuinely want. And then we wonder why we can’t achieve it, why it’s so darn hard.

Maybe we set a goal because we think it’ll get us something else. We see it as a means to an end. Say someone wants a relationship and is convinced that she needs to be thin to attract the right mate, but weight loss may not be the most effective strategy to find a successful relationship.

Or—and this is where we get into the most trouble—we try to achieve goals to get approval and acceptance from someone else.

As we go through life and become more actualized in ourselves, we come to realize what we want and don’t want. We may realize that our dream to attain a certain body shape was never our own but imposed on us by culture.

Sometimes it’s simply a question of timing. We may want the goal, but just not at this time. We want to wait before we start working toward it.

Or it could simply be a question of wording. For example, you might say you want to lose 15 pounds but what you really want is to fit into your old pair of jeans. The thought of losing 15 pounds is intellectual and doesn’t stir strong desire, but the thought of wearing those jeans could be the phrasing that gets you going.

To be successful, our motivations need to be pure and come purely from within—not for an ulterior motive or to please someone else. We have to be honest about what we truly want and very precise about it. Otherwise, we won’t feel very inspired to act, and we won’t be able to form an effective strategy.

When our goals are true to who we are, we’re far more likely to get results. Accomplishing the goal is more enjoyable and we feel more rewarded, so we’re less likely to give up. We only need a small amount of self-discipline and don’t need to rely on willpower. Our efforts don’t feel forced because we’re going with the flow and intention of our true selves.

Simply put, the clearer we are about our desires, the easier they are to achieve and the less likely we’ll be tempted to stray from them.

But once we identify our authentic desires, we have to surrender to them, which isn’t always easy. For many of us, self-acceptance is a challenge. And it can be scary to admit our true desires when they don’t match what we think we should want. But it’s only through self-acceptance that we give ourselves the freedom to find out what we really want and follow it with excitement.

In a nutshell, Cravings Master is about finding yourself and clarifying your vision because without a clear, authentic vision, it’s much more difficult to know what to do, follow healthy habits and make progress.

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